After years in the US, my mom gathered enough money to bring me over. She called one day and told me I was going to take a long trip just like she did with one of her friends & her 4 year old daughter. I remember how happy I was because I was finally going to see my mom. I was finally going to get away from the monsters around me.
My great grandmother told all my family I was leaving but most of them did not think it was a good idea. They said I was too young. I said I was not and fought for myself because no one else was fighting for me.
I vaguely remember seeing my Father a couple times when my mom was still in Honduras. After she left I didn’t really hear from him up until he found out I was leaving. He called the house phone and I picked up. He told me he had a big bag of candy for me but I needed to walk down to the bus station near my family’s house. I was excited and I wanted to leave, it didn’t matter where or with who at that point. Minutes later my great grandmother saw & heard me on the phone, she snatched it from me and began cursing my dad out & it became evident that he was trying to kidnap me. That day he came to the house and one of my uncles pulled a gun out and told him to never come back or get near me again. I didn’t hear from him after that.
As days went by, my great grandmother had to go buy groceries. This was going to be the last time she did that while I was in Honduras. My cousin was not happy with me because I was leaving. He was very much upset & angry. For months he touched me, hit me, penetrated me & emotionally abused me.. but I knew this time it was different. He was scared. He knew I could say something if I wasn’t near him anymore. He wanted to make the last time memorable for me.. “Nunca me vas a olvidar” he kept repeating that to me every single second. It meant “You will never forget me” and he was right.
I remember thinking this is the last time, you just have to take it this last time, you never have to do it again, just take it.. just take it. And I did.
When he was done with me he reassured me that if I ever said anything to anyone no one would ever believe me. I was an orphan that nobody loved so whatever I had to say wasn’t going to matter. He would laugh in my face telling me I’m only 6, I didn’t matter. So I stayed silent but it ate me from the inside out. But it was okay, because this was the last time.
The day of departure had finally come & my mom’s friend & her daughter spent the night at my house because that was the pick up place. I remember feeling scared because I didn’t know what to expect. But I was happy at the same time. My head was filled with every emotion I could think of. I remember going to bed really early because we had a long journey ahead of us. Then she woke me up in the middle of the night because it was time to leave.
We left at 2am.
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