On coping
I don’t think many of us were taught coping skills or strategies as we were growing up, or at least not explicitly (perhaps I should only speak for myself). One of the main reasons I created this site was to hear how other people were getting through thier hard times or “coping”.
I thought it was some inconspicuous realm that only a few were afforded the opportunity to be warped into. Wrong. Coping is doing ‘whatever’ helps you get through. Now, yes, hanging out friends and family, maybe seeking out the support of others, perhaps a therapist are all really important ways to get through hard times. But what about coping the rest of those hours when you’re not seeing your therapist or your family….when you’re all alone; just you, your thoughts, fears, your emotions? How do we cope then?
For me, in my darkest hours, coping was simply sitting in the bottom of the running hot shower while I sobbed and sobbed for hours on end. I walked- a lot…for miles, for hours and I would just walk and sob uncontrollably and I slept ….a lot! I like to refer to it as very exreme and very necessary ‘emotional purge’. Hot showers, walking and sleeping were how I got through each painful second for a few months.
My therapist and I decided that medication might be necessary in this case and after a few weeks of giving it a try, some of the really intense symptoms began to subside and I began to have new coping strategies. Lots of Ted Talks, on depression on loneliness, on anything I thought could be beneficial to really getting better. Reading and writing; writing a lot of lists… what I want, what I need, who I can count on, things I wanted to work on, I mean, lists about anything that came to mind. I began to work out again, (Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred, cause who we kidding, I don’t want to workout much longer then 30 minutes for 30 days). But mostly importantly I started to give what I needed, and I offered others the strength I was now gaining.
Also, there’s a ton of not so good coping skills (if they are the only ones you are using to cope) sex, drugs, alcohol, getting right back into another relationship, gambling, anything that is really stunting you from moving past your pain. Don’t get me wrong, I’m down with some of these coping skills too, as long as, you can moderate them and they are equally balanced with lots more positive ones.
For someone of you it may be running, art, yoga, meditation, reading, writing, blogging just know that whatever you are doing, you are ‘coping’ even if you don’t realize it!
To all my copers out there. Where My Village sees you and hears you. It ain’t easy… but you’re doing it and we’re proud of you!
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